Do you like yourself as a person? Are you kind to yourself? Do you believe that you deserve happiness? If you answered no to these questions, you could have low self-esteem. So how can you improve your self-esteem?
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is how you perceive yourself and your worth as a person. If you have low self-esteem, it’s likely that you have negative beliefs about yourself.
They often manifest as that little voice inside your head that tells you things like:
“ You’re just not good enough”
“ What’s the point in trying because you’ll fail anyway?”
“ You’re not as attractive/as intelligent/as capable as them..”
What Can Cause Low Self-Esteem?
There are lots of potential causes of low self-esteem. As you go through life, you can have really difficult and painful experiences such as being bullied, experiencing discrimination, having problems at work or school, struggling with your body image, experiencing mental ill health, and more.
These can knock your confidence and trigger (or reinforce) negative beliefs about yourself.
How to Improve Your Self-Esteem
If you’ve been struggling with low self-esteem for a long time, you might feel like things will never change. But change is always possible. Here are some things you can try to improve your self-esteem.
Show Yourself Some Kindness
Whenever negative thoughts about yourself pop into your head, it can be helpful to ask “ Would I say this to a friend?”
The thought of telling a friend they are ugly/useless/stupid probably horrifies you, yet you say things like this to yourself all the time.
Following on from this, a useful exercise to do is get a notebook or journal, and write down a list of things you like about yourself. Don’t just focus on physical attributes, write down things about your personality and what you’re good at. For example “I’m a good friend,” or “ I’m really good at art.”
Avoid the Comparison Trap
This is easier said than done when it seems like everyone on social media has an amazing life/dream job/perfect body. Try to keep a little bit of perspective about this. Most people’s social media is a carefully curated snapshot of how they want to appear to the rest of the world. The reality is that nobody is perfect and everyone feels insecure from time to time. Don’t compare yourself with something that isn’t real anyway.
Focus on Healthy and Positive Relationships
Spending time with people you have healthy and positive relationships is an important way to improve your self-esteem. That friend who has been there for you, no matter what. The colleague who encourages you at work. If all the negative things you believe about yourself were true, would these people really want to spend time with you?
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Trying something new or challenging can give you a sense of achievement that improves self-esteem. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, learning something new, or volunteering, it can help to get out of your own head and channel your energy into something positive.
Take Care of Yourself
There’s no getting away from it, getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising can make you feel better about yourself. Try to avoid relying on alcohol or other substances to help you escape difficult feelings or increase your confidence. They may bring some short-term relief but in the long-run, they’ll make you feel worse.
Try Therapy
Talking about how you feel in therapy sessions can help improve your self-esteem. A trained therapist can help you unpick what’s causing your low self-esteem and help you find ways to build your confidence and live life to the full again.
Are You Struggling with Low Self-Esteem?
You matter. You’re good enough. You deserve happiness. Whatever is causing your low self-esteem, we can work through it together and help you come out on the other side a happier, more confident person who feels able to enjoy life.
Whatever you want to talk about, I’m here to listen.
Get in touch at hello@lighthousepsychotherapy.co.uk